there are sometimes when you feel so uninspired that you won't even get up to go to bed.

i was so afraid you'd leave me because of your nipple cancer..i'm sorry i just couldn't handle the pressure of losing you

some things will never be the way they were.

i need to have the feeling that someone is around. just physically and i'll be alright emotionally. it doesn't matter who you are really, just that i can enjoy standing next to you while you do your thing, and i do mine. if not, i feel stuck. i think that's a big part of why i can't wait to be a mother. i love having someone around.

i've gotta find someone to replace you in my mind.

what would make me happy if it was accomplished:
laundry
cleaning my room
shower

things stopping me:
this chair
the internet
i'm tired

things i'll will get up for:
food
tea

game plan:
next commericial, make some tea, get my laundry, iron and put away clothes.. aand go!

it's not your job to make me feel wanted. it's your job to go away.

I've never felt alone
Till I met you
I'm alright on my own
And then I met you
And I'd know what to do if I just knew what's coming

four hours isn't that far
eventually i'll feel stuck around here
i can make friends
i'll be on my way
i can and will come back

i need to work on my relationship of with my mother. i don't like that if i face the problems it will effect my life, or if i push it down it will effect my life. no matter what i was born under this condition and i have to live with it and it needs a lot of fixing. i want to fix it but i'm still really angry.

FRIENDS FOREVER

Birthdays are funny to me because I feel it's the one day that I deserve happiness, and with this thinking I was happy. Why just March 12 though? Why not everyday? I deserve happiness everyday. Happy Un-Birthday.

I wasn't extremely hurt by my past relationship so feeling scared of getting hurt by someone else is making me confused. I love to have someone around but not to take care of or to call my own. Its just a weird, empty but inspirational feeling of not having that same person in your plans.

because I got it like that.

I have changed so much in the past couple of months its kind of crazy. It's an awesome feeling to know I'm better off alone, and not to spite the other person, but to know that I don't need a constant companion, I am independent. (Look what I've done without you in my plans!) A boy to call your own will leave you lonely and always wanting to be by his side. Do you know how that can drain a person? Too much to handle at an age like this. gimme gimme gimme.

lately i'm trying to prove to myself that i don't need to be dependent on guys, so throw yourself at me baby.