my socks are too tight

I think I've gotten so used to having someone near all the time that I don't know how to act when it seems like no one could give a shit about me. All I do is freak out. Nothing is any more wrong than what's always going on. I don't know how to deal with it now except write a stupid blog in hopes that someone will read it and pity me or some shit. That's stupid. I don't want pity. I just want a teddy to hold onto or someone in this house. Some interaction with someone that isn't a stranger. A little bit of noise that isn't a cd player. Fuck boys and the hold they have (had) on me. Just going through the motions to pass the time. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.