what's good?

i know what's good for me and i knew what was good for me. i figure that i just tried pushing things away to overcome them and to feel like i accomplished something new, all on my own. i figure that i was trying to put myself in a 'coming of age' movie, me being the main character and everyone else in my life just getting in the way. but really the only thing that stops me is myself. i know i wouldn't be doing the things i am now without the company of my best friend. he puts me out there, makes me feel so safe, cares, his bed is so comfortable, hes my first, and continues to forgive me everyday. the feelings i want to have are based on what i've experienced. but the actual feelings i am feeling are different from what i've known. i'm not giving in, there isn't a point i'm trying to make, i'm simply living and loving life with someone i really like.