like a sad fucking puppy

I hate myself. I'm doing everything for the wrong reasons and I can't control it. I've tried before and it just doesn't work. It's all your fucking fault too. I'm blaming this on you, I said no but it happened anyway and now there's some annoying attachment that means everything to me and nothing to you. I can't stand it anymore. I got let out of my cage and now I'm forcing myself to get back in. Constantly going back and forth.

I REALLY HATE SMEARED EYE LINER

Ever have a jail inmate ask to live with you? Well I have, in fact, it just happened. I don't remember the last time I heard from my mom. Maybe like two months ago? She couldn't even call to say "Happy Graduation", but made it such a big deal for my brother's last year. I don't do shit for her either and I'm definitely not starting now. You're going to pay rent? That's a funny joke! When have you ever paid for anything in your life? You're fucking mom still offers you places, and that bitch doesn't even want to co-sign on a fucking loan for me. This is a little fucked up. That's okay though, I guess. I'll figure this shit out on my own, and show this whole world up, just like I've been doing with this family. And I want to be mad but I really have no reason, they have been here for my entire life. I feel like something is holding me back here. What is it, who is it, is it really worth it? I wish things could get settled with this apartment but I probably need a job first and some fucking credit! I'm going to call a retarded chick farm today, already applied for the credit caaaard fuck.


Maybe I'll pick up some makeup remover and hate myself some more.

cute, memory blog. aww!

For about the past year I have kept my receipts, in hope of receiving my bank statements and stapling the receipts to the back of my bank statement to show proof that I actually bought these items. Why I was doing this? I don't really know, at one point it seemed stupid, I know what I'm buying, but now I'm glad I did. I sorted them according to gas, clothes, food and other. Added them up and figured that I had spent atleast $1412.10 using my checking card.
Spent atleast
$422.65 on gas
$170.47 on food
$539.25 on clothes
$279.73 on other crap


...so that doesn't really tell me much except that maybe I wasted all this money, which doesn't really seem like a lot. Anyway, the whole point of this is that with every receipt, there's a little memory! Who I was with, what I was buying, the ridiculous things I was wasting my time on. I have a bad memory and this kind of helps.

happiest night of my life.

i'll always be searching for something better, but this is it.

you get so high and then you get solo

i stole some bread from a supermarket but decided to give it back once i saw firemen, took a bite of the bread anyway and discovered it was moldy. it made sense to me this morning.

i'm excited.

i'm waiting


and i'll blame myself for that or the fact that i'm of the female race.


vroom
vroom